Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Creating Opportunities for New Stories

Two nights ago my three children (and my son-in-law) went to the symphony by themselves. The idea filled me with joy--I loved the fact that my daugther and her husband wanted to take her two younger brothers (ages 17 and 11) with them to hear a famous trumpet player perform. I experienced such a sense of comfort and warmth as I thought of them all sitting there together at the theatre...and realised that this was the first time they had done something like this without me. I wasn't there to tell Cameron, the youngest, to whisper more quietly or Christopher, the oldest, not to pick on his brother. They were on their own, having a special night that had nothing to do with me. As I reflected on the sense of happiness that brought me, I realized why I found such comfort in it: When I stepped out of the role of "family organizer," it created an opportunity for them to honoring their own unique connections to each other. This night they could tell their own stories in a new way, to connect to each other in peer relationships that didn't rely on the hub of Mom in order to bring it all together. As I thought about the families who lose their storytellers and then are stricken suddenly silent by her loss, I found hope in this simple gathering of my children.


Post a Comment

<< Home