Thursday, September 15, 2011

Anxiety as lack of support

I like the Gestalt view of personhood because the edges between organism and environment are fluid and moving together in the dance of the whole. This morning I awoke feeling overwhelmed with everything that stretches before me. There's no reason that this day is any different from another, but things are sticking to me more. I am worrying and feeling like a shoe is about to drop somewhere. I don't know why such feelings bubble up some days and don't on others. Perhaps one day I'll know that. But for now, it's helpful for me to look at my anxiety as a call for more support--from me internally, from my environment, from others in my life.

How can my field shore me up when I feel a little weak inside? In the past, my tendency has been to push through the weakness, to bully it, to get busy enough that I forget it's there. That works, sometimes. But perhaps it's not the kindest way to deal with myself, long-term. Maybe a better way is to recognize the call for support and choose to supply it and be open to it, so a warm current comes flooding in the cold spot where the anxiety holds itself, shivering. Then the anxiety calms and breathes and opens again to becoming part of the flow. Nice.

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